in my head

Last night I dreamed that

I was in some (high school?) science class, and I chose to do my final project on the man who invented Legos. My science teacher told me that I could go to another high school’s science class to learn more because they were also learning about the inventor or something, so I took the address but wound up at someone’s house instead.

An older Asian lady welcomed me in, and as she showed me around her small house and gave me a lesson about the Legos inventor, she also gave me some chicken steak because apparently he was inspired by meat. As we walked around her house, I glanced at some of her photos and realized that I was in the home of Cranberry & Grape, talking to their mother.

I panicked. I didn’t want Cranberry to come home and find me in his house like some kind of stalker from the past, but it was too late to leave as Mrs. Shen was already making tea for the two of us. Sure enough, I glanced out the window and saw Cranberry on his bike, but thankfully he rode off with his friends before coming in.

As we sat down at the kitchen table, Grape came out of the room. I stood up, shocked to see him and to be discovered. Frankly I wasn’t sure if he would recognize me. By now it was 4:30PM and he had just woken up. He joined us at the table and gave no indication that he was weirded out by my presence. I asked him what he was doing sleeping in so late and apparently he was looking for a job and bumming around in the meantime.

I was awakened by my alarm clock but tried to go back to sleep because I was tired but also because I wanted to continue my conversation with Grape, which was relatively normal and unlike any other interaction we’ve had in my life — how pathetic.

Last night I dreamed that

My mother was trying to force me into an arranged marriage with LYX. We were screaming at each other in the parking lot because I was fuming that she hated B so much that she would go to these measures because WTF. It was pretty insane.

Last night I dreamed that

I was on some kind of mission. I was running and hiding in the woods at night. We had snuck onto private property — I was with one other person and a dog(?).

Suddenly, we had been discovered. I heard the pounding of horses’ hooves, and before we could conceal ourselves properly, a group of people on horses came stomping into the clearing, which was littered with fallen leaves. They laughed at us mockingly, making me angry, and even handed me some beef jerky to eat, which I divided between the dog and my partner in case it was poisoned.

In my next dream, it seemed that I had either just finished some kind of mission with friends or was just hanging out with friends who happened to be super rich. I climbed into the backseat of a friend’s sleek white Bugatti and drove out of the parking lot/garage. It felt fabulous.

Last night I dreamed that

I was meeting a friend for dinner at a restaurant, ostensibly in Hong Kong, though potentially Chinatown in the US. It was dark outside. The interiors of the restaurant were all wooden, with long wooden tables. I was seated at the end of one of these tables by another group of diners, next to a middle-aged Asian man.

My dream skipped ahead — after dinner (apparently), I met my friend’s family elsewhere in the city. She had two parents and a younger sister (around age 6?) on whom they doted lavishly. The girl was holding her mother’s hand and walking on the ledge of a wall when I noticed she had an oddly protruding midsection.

“What is that?” I asked. The girl hopped down to ground level so her mother could explain that she had some kind of chronic organ disease that caused her abdomen to swell. (This part of the dream was no doubt influenced by me hearing about elephantisis earlier in the day.)

Suddenly, her midsection started to move and expand. We freaked out. The parents ran off to get the car, leaving me, my friend and her sister, who had passed out and started bleeding from somewhere. My friend was utterly useless for some reason, so I carried her sister in my arms and ran to try to get some help. Eventually I located an idle ambulance, which took the girl to the hospital just as her parents pulled up in a large grey van. My friend and I hopped in.

In my next dream, I was hanging out in a room with AMoon and some other friends from college. We were just sitting around on the carpet — it was a dimly lit bedroom with faded blue sheets on the bed and a short black bookshelf. I was telling AMoon about my freaky dream, except it seemed like I was explaining it to him as if it had happened in real life.

Later, I was out walking in the city again, with another friend or two. We bumped into my ex, which is never a pleasant experience. He had changed his hairstyle drastically, shaping it into a faux-hawk that was long in the back. He hadn’t put gel in it that day, so it kind of just flopped around on his head. I expressed my disdain. He was apparently waiting for his brother. As we chatted near some stairs, I looked up and briefly caught a glimpse of my first ex’s face behind someone’s shoulder.

I hate dreaming about them.

Last night I dreamed that

I was a teenager again, living in a house with other people my age. There was a kind of Hunger Games intensity to it, as we seemed to be engaged in some kind of struggle to survive whatever forces were lurking outside the house. We regularly convened in the basement to strategize for the week. It was exhilarating and frightening at the same time, and I felt like I was one of the newbies, unsure of exactly what was going on.

At one point, some men came to visit us. I wasn’t sure who they were, and that part of the dream remains blurry.

Somehow, certain people — the ones who seemed to be in charge — turned on me. One believed that I had tried to poison him or something, so he was basically out for my blood. My close friend dragged me upstairs to my room, where I locked the door and tried to stuff all my necessities into a duffle bag before escaping. I grabbed my laptop even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to use it in the woods. I could hear him pounding up the stairs. Panicking, I woke up.

Last night I dreamed that

I was in school. It seemed like a mix of college & high school — we had a high level of independence and a few different buildings, but the class structure and the people I saw were mostly from HS.

The details are vague, but I drove to school in a large vehicle that seemed like a van. I was supposed to meet BF at our second class, and we were trying to coordinate by phone. He was running late. In my first class, I met Mike Cross, whom I haven’t spoken to since middle school. It seemed like a kind of homeroom class, very casual and without a teacher of any sort. We didn’t even bother turning all the lights on.

That was in a very futuristic-looking building, and afterward I wandered through an old-school part of the building to find my next class. Everything was very empty, like the 20 people in my homeroom were the only ones on the whole campus.

In my next class, I met Mike Cross’ younger brother (forgot his name irl) and was excited to tell him that I had just been in class with his older brother. He didn’t seem to care as much. I think our class played some games of MASH (wtf) before being dismissed. I think BF missed the whole class.

Last night I dreamed that

I GOT PREGNANT WTF!!!!!!!

It was an accident. I almost didn’t even notice; it seemed like I found out and almost immediately went to go have the baby. I knew it would change my life — I’m too young to be a mother! — but what else could I do..?? It was nighttime, and I went to some strange cylindrical building to get it done.

Then later I was going down some kind of weird elevator, like those lifts that help people in wheelchairs go up/down the stairs. I was with XZ and AJ, and they were wearing matching Tron-esque track jackets and looking super skinny while I felt super fat. I sang a song as we went down the lift.

Apparently JA heard my singing and was so impressed that he asked to do a Youtube collaboration sometime. (I woke up feeling cheerful until I remembered the freaky pregnancy part…)

Last night I dreamed that

I was hanging out in G.O.’s hotel room. The lighting was dim, and we were on his bed. He kissed me on the forehead and called me his “star,” and then went over to the bathroom. I was in heaven. Then I remembered that I had a boyfriend who was in the room across the hall, and I tried to reconcile my tornado of emotions. I have a boyfriend! But G.O. was so adorable and affectionate and everything I’d ever want…god, my dream self was confused and torn.

Then LC came in and asked me for G.O.’s razor. “You already have a boyfriend, so what do you need G.O. for?” she said. But I told her I didn’t know where it was…who cares if I have a boyfriend? Why can’t they both be mine? Whyyyyyyyieeee

I’ve been having pretty vivid dreams lately

(especially ones involving beautiful bodies of water) but I’ve been too lazy/busy to write them out. Last night’s dream was pretty great, though, so here it is:

I was on my way to class. Everybody was traipsing to class through farm fields as if we were in a Miyazaki movie. I went off the beaten path to explore what looked like an abandoned garden labyrinth, but didn’t get very far before I ran into a dead end and decided it wasn’t that fun anymore.

My friends and I were eating lunch, and next to us was a small tree, upon which was the beginnings of a huge and intricate bird’s nest. We fed the baby birds some sunflower seeds. Later, the nest turned into a straw hat, which I carried with me to class for fear of it being stolen.

I entered a wooden, high school gymnasium. Students were crowded into the bleachers to watch some kind of festivities that were happening below on the basketball courts. I climbed up to join some friends, but since half the bleachers were still stacked, I needed some help. Eunhyuk & Donghae were behind me, so they gave me a leg up. at least, I remember recognizing that they were EunHae, but I only really noticed Eunhyuk’s shiny blonde hair. Suffice to say I almost fainted with glee, but we somehow carried on a conversation as if it were normal to see them around like this.

Once I got onto the bleachers, I went down to the end, where I noticed Onew sitting by himself. Of course he would be by himself. I struck up a conversation with him, and his English seemed pretty good so I assumed that SM had been giving the SHINee boys English lessons or something. I also tried to ask him about his Chinese skills because that was one of his supposed ~talents when they first debuted. It was a flirtatious conversation; it had the feel of high school flirting, especially when I ran my fingers down his chest, which was pretty solid and admirable.

(I don’t know where my mind was because not once did I think about Key, though I’m pretty sure if I tried to seduce Key he would be like “bitch what do you think you’re doing, keep your dirty paws off me!”)

After that, I had to leave, so I exited and it was modern-day civilization again (ie. no fields, just a parking lot). There was a live band (of the symphonic variety) playing on one side of the parking lot, and the music sounded quite good, so I went over to check them out.

Well what do you know, Yafang and YaEric were in the band! I also ran into Nina, who was watching them. I left after a little bit and watched myself drive home on the GPS.

Last night I dreamed that

I was being attacked by dinosaurs in someone’s house, like we were stuck in a remake of Jurassic Park or something. It was really fucking terrifying. There were big ones that tore through the roof and little ones that raced through the hallways.

It was a big house, so there were lots of places to hide, but they were eventually going to get everybody. I don’t recall seeing people die, but there was lots of screaming and running and general pandemonium.

I eventually made it outside to a ledge above the front door. From there, I witnessed the rampage of the angry dinos around the vicinity of the house. [This is what I get for reading Cracked.com articles about killer animals before going to bed.] The sky was dark, and panicked cries mixed with roaring filled the air.

In the front yard, a shiny black dog did some kind of intricate dance with a large snake, and by dance I mean the snake was determined to go after the dog and the poor dog just could not get away from it. At one point the dog tried to jump onto the ledge beside me, and I reached out to grab its legs but it was a bit too heavy and a bit out of reach. In the back of my mind, I realized that if the dog joined me on the ledge, it would lure the snake up here too, and I didn’t want to end up as collateral damage. [In my dreams, I am a horrible person.]