in my head

Last night I dreamed that

I was hanging out in G.O.’s hotel room. The lighting was dim, and we were on his bed. He kissed me on the forehead and called me his “star,” and then went over to the bathroom. I was in heaven. Then I remembered that I had a boyfriend who was in the room across the hall, and I tried to reconcile my tornado of emotions. I have a boyfriend! But G.O. was so adorable and affectionate and everything I’d ever want…god, my dream self was confused and torn.

Then LC came in and asked me for G.O.’s razor. “You already have a boyfriend, so what do you need G.O. for?” she said. But I told her I didn’t know where it was…who cares if I have a boyfriend? Why can’t they both be mine? Whyyyyyyyieeee

I’ve been having pretty vivid dreams lately

(especially ones involving beautiful bodies of water) but I’ve been too lazy/busy to write them out. Last night’s dream was pretty great, though, so here it is:

I was on my way to class. Everybody was traipsing to class through farm fields as if we were in a Miyazaki movie. I went off the beaten path to explore what looked like an abandoned garden labyrinth, but didn’t get very far before I ran into a dead end and decided it wasn’t that fun anymore.

My friends and I were eating lunch, and next to us was a small tree, upon which was the beginnings of a huge and intricate bird’s nest. We fed the baby birds some sunflower seeds. Later, the nest turned into a straw hat, which I carried with me to class for fear of it being stolen.

I entered a wooden, high school gymnasium. Students were crowded into the bleachers to watch some kind of festivities that were happening below on the basketball courts. I climbed up to join some friends, but since half the bleachers were still stacked, I needed some help. Eunhyuk & Donghae were behind me, so they gave me a leg up. at least, I remember recognizing that they were EunHae, but I only really noticed Eunhyuk’s shiny blonde hair. Suffice to say I almost fainted with glee, but we somehow carried on a conversation as if it were normal to see them around like this.

Once I got onto the bleachers, I went down to the end, where I noticed Onew sitting by himself. Of course he would be by himself. I struck up a conversation with him, and his English seemed pretty good so I assumed that SM had been giving the SHINee boys English lessons or something. I also tried to ask him about his Chinese skills because that was one of his supposed ~talents when they first debuted. It was a flirtatious conversation; it had the feel of high school flirting, especially when I ran my fingers down his chest, which was pretty solid and admirable.

(I don’t know where my mind was because not once did I think about Key, though I’m pretty sure if I tried to seduce Key he would be like “bitch what do you think you’re doing, keep your dirty paws off me!”)

After that, I had to leave, so I exited and it was modern-day civilization again (ie. no fields, just a parking lot). There was a live band (of the symphonic variety) playing on one side of the parking lot, and the music sounded quite good, so I went over to check them out.

Well what do you know, Yafang and YaEric were in the band! I also ran into Nina, who was watching them. I left after a little bit and watched myself drive home on the GPS.

Last night I dreamed that

I was being attacked by dinosaurs in someone’s house, like we were stuck in a remake of Jurassic Park or something. It was really fucking terrifying. There were big ones that tore through the roof and little ones that raced through the hallways.

It was a big house, so there were lots of places to hide, but they were eventually going to get everybody. I don’t recall seeing people die, but there was lots of screaming and running and general pandemonium.

I eventually made it outside to a ledge above the front door. From there, I witnessed the rampage of the angry dinos around the vicinity of the house. [This is what I get for reading Cracked.com articles about killer animals before going to bed.] The sky was dark, and panicked cries mixed with roaring filled the air.

In the front yard, a shiny black dog did some kind of intricate dance with a large snake, and by dance I mean the snake was determined to go after the dog and the poor dog just could not get away from it. At one point the dog tried to jump onto the ledge beside me, and I reached out to grab its legs but it was a bit too heavy and a bit out of reach. In the back of my mind, I realized that if the dog joined me on the ledge, it would lure the snake up here too, and I didn’t want to end up as collateral damage. [In my dreams, I am a horrible person.]

Last night I dreamed that

I was in a strange new place. It felt like I was back on campus because of the atmosphere and the fact that I saw my friends from school, but nothing looked familiar. Everything I remember is rather fragmented, but a common theme was that the decor of every place I went had the same old-school wooden panel look with high ceilings; it was like the interior design of the ’60s.

I went with my bf to play pool, except we bypassed the normal pool table and used one that was half the size of a regular one.
“What…is this?” I asked. “Is it even possible to play on this?”
My bf made some kind of remark about how I can’t beat him on a regular-sized pool table and having to downgrade to this one. Hmph.

Then I was in bed having a heart-to-heart over video-chat with Carl, a friend from middle school. We talked for ages like we were the best friends in the world even though in the back of my mind I remembered that in real life last month, I saw him while shopping at Costco and pretended not to notice or recognize him [I was in a hurry and feeling a bit anti-social].

Then I was sitting on the couch waiting for my bf to finish a meeting or something. For some reason, he looked like Soohyun from U-Kiss but with blonde hair. When he came out, my heart filled with joy and I beamed at him, feeling like I was the prettiest girl ever and he was the best boyfriend ever.

I grabbed his leg and yelled “honey buns!!!” He wrapped his arms around me and yelled the same thing as we fell backward on the couch, delighted. I felt so happy and so loved in that moment. We kissed, and it was messy but we didn’t care.

Another girl walked by in a maxi dress, showing a bit of a baby bump. She and bf greeted each other, and I knew that she was his ~other girlfriend. He didn’t move from his cuddly position on the couch with me, and I felt satisfied knowing that I was his first and favorite girlfriend.
“Wow, she’s pregnant already?” I mused. “It’ll be interesting to see how that baby turns out.” Apparently, I thought of her as only a surrogate until I remembered that she was carrying his and her baby, not his and mine. “I guess I’ll have to have my own sometime then,” I thought.

Then I was back at my apartment, where I was staying/living with Sarah. I needed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but the light switches wouldn’t work properly. They suddenly started functioning when she came out to help me…stupid light switches. I think I blamed the ghosts.

Last night I dreamed that

I was living in a house with some friends. It was kind of an old house, and I guess I had just moved in [or was a very temporary resident] because I had only a bag of clothes with me. The day passed and people came and went from our home, but the memory is a blur.

The next day, I seem to have given birth right inside the house. I didn’t have any recollection of being pregnant, and the baby came out completely wrapped in a glittery black cloth not unlike the nail polish I’m currently sporting. It was tiny, maybe the size of a water bottle. Phammy came over to help me…clean up? Take care of it? Although we mostly just folded sheets and talked about when would be a convenient time to take it to the hospital, because apparently the baby was just fine wrapped tightly in the cloth and we wouldn’t have to worry about it for a while.

To take a break from thinking about the baby, I went upstairs to look for my roommate Angela, and I guess it was my first time upstairs because I was amazed by how different it looked compared to the rest of the house. The spacious hallway and rooms were finished in brand new wood, and everything was so new that doors hadn’t even been installed yet.

And that was how I unintentionally caught Angela in bed with J, her ex who happens to be one of my close friends. At least he was wearing boxers. They sprang from the bed in shock of being discovered, and I quickly averted my eyes and talked about how pretty the upstairs was, then made a hasty escape.

I also explored the basement, which was as cruddy as the upstairs was pristine. A guy stood greeted me at the bottom of the stairs and steered me around to introduce me to the place, which was apparently some kind of gaming room. It was dank and dimly lit with white, mildewy walls — perfect setting for some kind of gruesome horror movie murder. He led me over to what looked like an ice hockey table that had a soccer setup.

“What is this, hover-soccer?” I asked jokingly.
“Exactly!” he replied enthusiastically. A large, deformed guy came over and the two started playing. I pretended to receive an urgent text and went back to the first floor.

It was almost time to take the newborn to the hospital! I rifled through my bag of clothes and picked out argyle knee-high socks, a frilly miniskirt and a dark blue printed screen tee. Obviously I wanted to look as much like a scene pre-teen as possible.

Last night I dreamed that

There was an alien invasion on Earth. They came down in spaceships, and they were killing/kidnapping people and hunting our resources. What did they want? Our fish. It was the only thing they ate. These aliens looked like giant octopi, bright purple and cartoonish as if some artist in Japan had drawn them. They could take the form of humans, though they were slow and couldn’t jump.

My dream self imagined my whole family grabbing knives from our kitchen drawers and hacking away at a purple octopus that stood in the corner of the house. Or perhaps it was a flashback.

In any case, I stood in a field that stretched on endlessly beneath a clear blue sky, and sunlight reflected off a nearby lake. Dozens of huge red and yellow fish figurines [they looked like they were made out of big Legos] stood upright, facing the sky, and from the lake, hundreds of fish flew out of the waters toward the clouds as if being hooked by some invisible string.

Around me, a multitude of people walked in the same direction toward some invisible meeting point at the other end of the field. By their zombified condition, I surmised that these were all octopi disguised as people. Shivers coursed through my body when I realized I was surrounded by aliens — panicking, I ran.

“It’s a human!” I heard.
“Get her!”
“We’re too slow; someone will catch up to her later.”
The surprised remarks from the aliens rang in my ears as I scrambled to avoid running into them. I finally spotted a ramshackle building and dashed into its courtyard, where a real human had been beckoning me. He was a human ambassador/interpreter, which meant he had a bit of immunity from being kidnapped by the aliens. He thought maybe he could use his small amount of leverage to hide me.

I clambered onto the ledge of a brick wall and pulled my legs up just in time to see an alien in human form brush past my interpreter friend and head straight for me.

“Well well, look what I’ve found,” he chuckled as he grinned up at me evilly. I held my breath and stared down at him in fright while wishing desperately to be invisible. He looked like Fasserbender but with scraggly, shoulder-length hair.

“Why don’t you come down here so I can turn you into the authorities,” he said with a smirk.
Well, I thought, you could just drag me down there because you’re probably tall enough to reach me. The ledge was high up, but the guy looked more than six feet tall.

It seemed that he had just reached the same realization, for he stretched out his arm and brushed my bare legs with his fingers while talking to me in a low voice. I whimpered. It was almost erotic.

Suddenly, he grabbed my ankle. My eyes widened. This is it, I thought. I’m going to die!!!!

“No,” I begged brokenly. “Don’t do this, please.”
“Have you ever wanted to be somebody else?” he asked angrily, keeping a tight grip on my ankle. He said something about taking another form or being a better person…I don’t really remember, but it was something deep and revealing.

I grabbed the wrist of the hand that was still clutching my ankle.
“Stay here,” I said. “On Earth. Stay human.” I looked into his eyes and willed for him to see that it was the better option.

“What?” he said, bewildered.
The interpreter, who thus far had been just standing on the side, jumped in to try to convince this alien that it was better to be human, to live in a world where you don’t have to be cutthroat over fish. By the time he started protesting that “humans are smelly,” we knew we had him. I was so relieved.

My dreamed jumped to sometime in the near future, where I and my alien friend and the interpreter were eating at a lively restaurant. The atmosphere was optimistic, though I have no idea how the alien invasion concluded. All around us, though, people ordered fish. Fish filets, fish steaks, seared fish, etc. I don’t know how we still had so much fish after the aliens stole all of them, but I had an inkling that not all of these people around us were born human. And it was just fine with me.

Last night I dreamed that

I was in China with my relatives, though it didn’t really look like China. We were just visiting my aunts and cousins randomly and I don’t remember much. There might’ve been a scene with me in bed with two guys and trying to make them take off their shirts…seriously what is with these dreams of infidelity?? I think it means that I miss my bf…good thing I’m visiting him in less than a week teehee~

Anyway, I was apparently working as some kind of court reporter in China, and I tried to find my way around a large public square in order to make it to the courtroom on time. The sky was grey, the buildings were grey, the streets were grey. It did not seem like I was leading a very happy occupation in China, but hey, at least I was employed!

Suddenly I was by myself in a strange house. It was small and run-down, almost a shack, and everything was painted in a bluish-greyish light. My family had gone out of town, so I had to take care of the place by myself.

I tried to turn on the oven to make something despite the fact that it was nighttime. There was a spark, and the oven caught on fire. Shocked, I backed away. I desperately tried to pour some water on it but I was afraid the oven would combust and blow me to bits, so I ran outside and took cover. Nothing happened as I cowered in the street behind a car.

Last night I dreamed that

I was making out in bed with one of my friends who happens to be a girl. Ummm what the heck?! Anyway we were just hanging out and lounging around in her fuchsia-tinted room when we kind of rolled over and started kissing on her big bed. I’m not sure I enjoyed it…she’s extremely thin, and I prefer to be in bed with a man, not a bunch of bones, but in my dream it happened anyway.

Then a pale-ish black guy came out of nowhere [I think this was a remnant of me watching Cee Lo Green’s new music video “Cry Baby”] and I ditched my friend to get on top of him…hah. But he wasn’t very responsive so neither experience was too enjoyable. Which is probably good considering neither of these people were my irl boyfriend…wtf.

Other stuff happened in the dream too but this was all I could remember when I woke up.

I hereby promise to call B when I find myself lacking self-control.

Last night I dreamed that

I was walking through a dry plain with a group of people whom I understood to be Somali refugees. It was a hot day as the sun beat down upon us, and we had very little water to complete the journey. They were all given red balloons by our guide, who said that the balloons would provide shade. Interesting. I walked with a very young boy who couldn’t have been older than 10; he carried the largest bunch of balloons and almost seemed like he would float away.

We finally reached what appeared to be a rest area, and when we went inside the facilities, it was dim but very modernly furnished. There was even a video game lounge with a couple of huge — like, as large as me — Pokémon plushes. Immensely excited, the little boy sat down to play on the Gamecube. Also excited, I sat down on another couch and threw the giant Arbok at him.

At one point, I happened to be in some kind of camp with a bunch of other Asian people my age. I was in the shower with Lee Kiseop…

Later at the camp, I got out of bed in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom with CL. The stalls were red and very Dr. Seuss-esque.

Suddenly, I was in Hong Kong again. Visiting for a vacation, perhaps? I was walking through the Prestige HK office with Vivienne Tang, though now the office was enormous enough to have its own staircase and granite wall tiles. Things had changed since I left.

I got the feeling that we were just meeting to catch up. We went to the cafeteria, which was also rather dimly lit, and met one of Vivienne’s friends from America, who also happened to bring along her friend Leighton Meester [insert excited squealing here].

She was so gorgeous. Huge eyes, wavy brown hair, super tan, talkative yet a little removed. I was mesmerized. Leighton and her friend were clearly obsessed with their DSLR cameras, so much so that they even took photos of each other’s cameras. A table away, some people were building a Transformer replica out of old mechanical parts.

After leaving the office, I took a bus to get back to wherever I was staying. A white guy who apparently knew me in high school came and sat next to me like we were two spies meeting inconspicuously. He pointed to the newspaper I was reading.

“Look at the obituaries,” he said. I saw that some professor had died. But the date of his death seemed unclear, unlike the other obituaries on the page.
“Look at the insert,” he said. There was another profile about that professor, only this one detailed a conspiracy theory that covered up his disappearance. I loved a good conspiracy theory. The bus veered to the left, and I understood that we were going to the cemetery to get to the bottom of this case.